Mats to Play Minneapolis at Target Field: Hold All Rainchecks.

Speculation has been swirling like snowflakes this past week in the Mill City as to when the Mats will make their long awaited return home to play a concert.  Well the wait may soon be over.

One does not have to be a Guy Noir to know that the key to solving any mystery in America is follow the money.  Where is the money these days in the music industry?  For artists, it sure as hell isn't in music sales, whether cds or digital downloads, the cut taken by distributors and platforms leave just a pittance for the people who created it.  No, the gold lies in licensing your bands name for a line of clothing and needless bobbles and shiny objects that can be sold online and at your shows.

A quick google for the band name that gave Minneapolis its well deserved reputation as the home of the post punk, pre Grunge sound leads you to a slick commercial website complete with a link for concert dates and a store.  Do ya think a summer tour is in the offing?  Does it snow in Minneapolis in the Spring time?

I learned long ago that marketing foreshadowed the direction where a for profit organization was headed.  Remember the Minnesota North Stars?  Remember that piece of shit shopping mall developer from North of the border, Norm Green?  As soon as he rebranded the team that was the Star of the North to simply the Stars, I knew the jig was up.

Now before I start hearing all the pink Mohawks and safety pin faces who were 10-15 years too young to ever be part of the original scene screaming "sell out", hey kiddies I got news for you, that ship sailed long ago.  Riotfest wasn't about live aid and Coachella ain't exactly the 7th Street Entry or CBGBs.  Hell I commend the guys for reforming for a noble purpose, helping Slim and I begrudge no one for making a living.

It's just that you cannot read t-shirts like they're tea leaves.  Leave the amateur prognosticating to the professional grifters like palm readers and politicians and take this to the bank:

The Replacements are NOT going to play Target Field despite the 3/4 length baseball tee with 1960's Twins styling.

No, it doesn't take a Sid Genius to figure out that the corporate shills that got Minnesotans to pay for the wealthiest owner in baseball's stadium with public money, whose red neck idea of "Muzak" is Kenny Cheesedick are not ever, in any lifetime, going to let the band whose next album is tentatively titled "Feculent" desecrate their hallowed "Field of Mediocrity".  And that's the truth! PBBBBBLLLLLLTTTTTTTTTT!