Bachmann Campaign: "Dispensing Cash for Personal and Inappropriate purposes like a Cypriot Cash Machine"

Like a group of cats playing with the world's largest ball of twine, federal campaign finance investigators began unraveling the wicked web she weaved.  Yes, of course I am talking about the first scandal with legs to hit Minnesota's Congresswoman with legs, Amelia Michele Bachmann Earhart.

Speaking on the condition of anonymity, one member of the Bachmann Incumbancy Tennesse Campaign Headquarters (B.I.T.C.H.) finance committee recently interviewed by federal agents recited a litany of questionable expenditures including 23 tuition payments to a Hunnington Learning Center in Stillwater, MN, a gross of doggy sunglasses purchased in Des Moines, IA and innumerable bar tabs from the Gay 90's and The Saloon bars in Minneapolis all signed on behalf of the campaign by a shadowy, asexual character with an extremely high pitched voice under a name what looks"Marcia Bachmann" (sic).

Said one official close to the investigation, Bachmann's campaign was dispensing cash for personal and other inappropriate purposes like a "Cypriot Cash Machine".