Thursday, February 24, 2011

On Wisconsin: Does This Bus Stop at 82nd Street?

Shortly after 10 AM somewhere east of Menomomie.

Things are getting mighty sqaulid in the Chevy Van and I'm afraid violence may break out. It all started when Dos Beaners as Carter wryly calls them, Hugo and Cesar, insisted that we stop for a breakfast burrito at the Golden Arches. Despite all his petro dollars, apparently old Hugo is something of a cheap skate and insisted on splitting one with Cesar. When we were informed that it was one minute after 10 AM and the McDonald's in Menomomie stopped serving breakfast at exactly 10:00 AM, Mondale accused the pimply faced window attendant of racism and started reciting Hubert Humphrey's 1948 Democratic Convention speech, which of course put everyone within earshot to sleep.

When we awoke the Menomomie Police had Cesar in custody, apparently on a theft charge. Something about removing lettuce from all the snoozing diners sandwiches. For all their talk of brotherhood and solidarity, the comrades quickly huddled and when we broke from the huddle it was understood that Comrade Chavez had been sacrificed for a good cause. As we ran for the van and made our escape, Hugo was heard softly murmuring "... viva Chavez, via Chavez, viva Chavez...".

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