Friday, June 17, 2011

Harriet Supporters Fight Back, Tell Hannity: "Leave Our 'Hairy' Girl Alone!"

I don't think Sean Hannity had any idea what he was getting himself into yesterday when he took on New London, Tennessee native and local school board member Harriet Bint. Hannity, a yellow teeth, slack-jawed yokel of a man who reads propaganda for the corporate shills at Fox News, is in the second phase of his campaign to ruin the careers and rid the world of politicians, no matter how small and insignificant, whose names he finds offensive.

Singing the Twisted Sister teenage anthem, "We're Not Gonna Take It!", supporters of Mrs. Bint, or "Hairy Bee" as her constituents lovingly call her, descended upon Fox affiliates throughout rural Tennessee today blocking goat-cart trails and disrupting the local economy by causing delays in the transportation of the local hooch or White Lightnin'.

"He donno jus who the hell he f^ckng wit..." one of the local businessmen was heard muttering ominously under his breath. "We've Just begun to fight!" yelled one of the Harriet supporters or "Bee Girls" as they like to be called. Towanda, one of the larger, if not largest "Bee Girls", was carrying a crude sign which read "You Can't Lick Our Bint!" a sentiment which made nearly everyone in the crowd feel a little relieved.

I spoke briefly to another one of board member Bint's supporters, a woman in her thirties wearing a "Support Bint" t-shirt who would not give her name . I asked her if she had ever met Mrs. Bint to which the woman replied: "No, but I follow her blog, "A Hairy Girl In Tennessee", religiously. "Well, do you know anyone who has actually met Mrs. Bint or seen her in person?" "Let me think" she says. "Well now that you mention it, no. No I don't".

Hmmm...I thought to myself. Immediately yellow flags went up. I've heard this story somewhere before. A charismatic woman leader, who no one really knows personally or has even seen and is entirely the creation and byproduct of the blogosphere. Before I can say it, one of my fellow reporters blurts out: "I got it! I got it! This is just like that hoax "A Gay Girl in Damascus". Whew, I thought to myself. I thought I was going to lose my scoop, Hairy Bee is none other than Minnesota's own and joke on the world, Michele "Hairy Bee" Bachmann. And that's the truth! tttttbbbbbbbbbllllllllltttttttttttt!

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